I'm doing all i can to refrain from screaming, jumping and pulling my hair out. I can feel my insides turning, my heart quenching... and not forgetting that incessant ringing noise in my ear that Alicia deduced as Tinnitus.
How could things have turned out this way, it just seems like one blockage followed by another disrupting my life. Everytime i think i see abit of light, darkness follows soon. Now... I'm back to square one, only this time i have less road and less possibilities ahead of me.
Was it because I didn't start planning early on? Was it that i wasn't as popular as I thought I was? What is to become of me I don't really want to think... staying alone in halls perhaps... will it be as bad as i think it will be. But then again... do I have another choice?
All i can do is wait and hope that perhaps a solution will emerge.
Signed Off @ 5:32 PM
Monday, August 25, 2008
Just came back from LSE's freshers camp which was also known as FCUK... it wasn't bad... but I wouldn't say it was fantastic either. I won't say its a camp, more of like a chalet with ocassional amazing races and telematches thrown in.
At the start, there was a pathetic number of people, like equal number of juniors and seniors. Then, we started playing some games and stuff and split up into OGs. The people seems generally rather nice at first.
However, the weather kinda sucked and rained all the time. (Preview of London weather?) We pretty much couldn't do anything except sit around, watch TV... some started playing mahjong while the rest of us played cards... then more people started going home... like WTH do you come for camp if you intend to go home and sleep every night.
It was pretty boring for most of us actually, in the end we decided to sleep at like one which is pretty unusual for a chalet or camp i guess. We were supposed to sleep according to OGs but my OG was left with like me and this guy...-_-''' so these two girls Yanmin and Si Chen came to bunk with me and we pretty much kicked the guy Kaiwen I think was his name to the next room. Actually we didn't really sleep. Just more of flipped here and there the entire night.
The next day we went to Sentosa. That I felt was much more campish. We played the usual dog and bone, Tarzan and Jane games... then we had amazing race. I think it was more of like amazingly slow race. Our group took our own sweet time to figure clues and we strolled like every where... and we came in first?!?!?!??!
After that, we went back to clean up and had a barbeque... lotsa people came... no idea who many were but I guess they were other seniors. More seniors than juniors even. Initially we played mahjong and we kinda just walked around and chit chat with some people. Many of the girls went home like at ten plus eleven which I thought was really.... unsporting? I don't really know.
I wanted to stay on, I mean, isn't the last night of camp supposed to be more fun? So I stayed anyway even though it was abit awkward because for a first in a very long time I was kinda like outta the cliques. There was the VJ clique of Sin Ae and Valerie and then there was the RJ clique whom and there was me. Right.
But it was okay... we pretty much played group games like indian poker, then we went to the beach and played 'I never...', quite interesting some of the things that come out of your mouth in the game. Haha.
Later on... we went back and pretty much mahjonged till dawn. By six... i couldn't take it and like pretty much collapsed.
On the way back I shared cab with two of the seniors who stayed near Tanah Merah... I somehow feel that I can click with the senior batch more than our own... I couldn't really stand the few girls who were kinda flirty and they all seemed kinda cliquish that I sorta gave up trying to squeeze in. But the seniors are much easier to talk to... or maybe they make more effort? *Shrugs*
Back in a greyish mood about going to London...Crap!
This national day as usual, we had a mini gathering at my house. Somehow, the gatherings are getting more and more pathetic. The original plan was to meet up at Riveredge and watch fireworks. However, since the turnout was pathetic, we changed it to my house and combined it with my dad's gathering with his university friends.
Thankfully, we managed to have a fabulous time. I mean... when the four of us gets together, when do we not have a fantastic time? Poor Jason and Jia Min were kinda left out though cause we had this awful lot to catch up and just talked non- stop the entire night.
We decided to remake our lemon soda from THAF Family Day using nicer glasses and look how great it turned out. Doesn't it just make you feel like taking a slurp and going "ahh..."
Aiwen was totally high on lemon soda and went about with her dramatic and hilarious stories about her new hall life. Just do hope that mine will be as exciting in time to come.
At around seven, my dad's friends started streaming in the house. Little Sheena immediately became super attached to Qiqi. Like a always say, Qiqi has a flair for attracting naughty kids.
Little Sheena looks absolutely adorable with her huge eyes and long lashes, but I'm afraid she's starting to be abit of the devil. Using her stupid National Day flag to hit adults on the head, running all about and rolling her eyes at me when i reprimand her, isn't that a bit too much for a six year old kid?
Or maybe its an occupational hazard that makes me wanna take kids in hand when I see them slightly out of line. Haha.
Jia Min makes a rare move by deciding to join our gathering. (Without nigel!) I think i'll miss her terribly too when I leave.
We had a unique cajun dinner in which each of my parents' friends brought a little contribution. It was quite delicious and something different for my friends but I think everyone enjoyed it. (Except the fish, it was like coated entirely in salt.)
Everyone digging into Aiwen's Winnie the Pooh fondue pot as dessert after dinner. Who doesn't love chocolate.
We had green apple, banana, marshmallows and this biscuit stick thingy which we could dip in chocolate like the Yamyam thing we used to eat as kids. Surprisingly, those under fifteen doesn't know what Yamyam is. Generation gap?
Wenhui posing with her chocolate stick. Everyone looks absolutely high on chocolate.
Jia Min prefers marshmallows and Sheena seems to be looking on enviously...
Posers! The minute I flash my camera all of them squeeze into line of shot.
Qiqi with Uncle Yeo's daughter. She's a little... weird as well. She she kinda looks like Rachel Lee. Haha.
See... Qiqi can just get along with all the irritating kids, she says she feels for them when they are rejected by other kids and adults...
which explains the existence of stalkers like Jieliang...
Anyways... later on that night we went to the playground to play with the swings (A hobby of me and aiwen. We used to go to the playground near her house after school and compete to see who can swing higher. We competed in like everything. And turned out best friends. Ironic isn't it?)
Then we decided to HTHT (Heart to heart talk), a new university lingo that they have adopted. But it was kinda weird because Jason was there. He always seems to be the only guy with a huge gang of girls. Really happy for all of them, who seem to have found new eye- candies or new prospects.
I don't know what I will do without all these regular chitchat sessions with the girls. (Probably die from bottling up everything inside me. Haha.)
Not much going on in my life recently... but I felt I haven't blogged in such a long time that I ought to post a new entry.
Its really amazing how many people turn to blogging now, my Dad was saying the other day how he wants to start blogging since even seventy year old Malaysian politicians like Lim Chee Siang (Is that his name?) is also blogging. So, with some help from me, he started a blog for his university ex- housemates.
It seems my life now has fallen into a routine, going to school everyday, praying to get an easier time table but it is never the case, struggling to get through to break, then finally to the end of school, going for driving, dinner, exercise and finally sleep. Then, when its finally the weekends, I meet up a few friends... and when monday comes along... the whole process begins again.
However, I think teaching is really a good experience. Especially teaching in a Primary School. You can see how minor things slowly mould their charactors, how one or two pupils can change a whole class and see how the children are different from children our age. Thank god I haven't experienced a generation gap.
I also finally understand why teachers seem to show favouritism. It is really something you cannot avoid. Some kids are just naturally more adorable and just clicks with you.
And somehow for me and the other RTs, most of these are the boys... and the naughtiest ones in the level. All of us have our favourites, and they're our favourites for different reasons.
Aiwen likes the more obedient but adorable kids like Guo An and Melvin, both of whom happen to be cute, obedient, and class monitor.
So far the only kid I ever see Jia Min showing favouritism over is Yewint, the naughtiest P1 kid from Myanmmar. But then, he's so adorable I believe no teacher won't love him.
Qiqi simply favours the naughty kids, they need not be that adorable, we always say she favours them because she understands their feelings as the 'detention group'.
Sukma is like nice to everyone.
Me... of course I have my favourites too. I guess they're the naughty ones too... but i haven't figured our their classification.
I have my P6 zoo (consisting of Guo An[Cat], Snowden[dog], Jun Hui[Dolphin], Brendan[Monkey] and Shang An[Pig]) and other than Guo An the rest seem to be permanantly hogging the detention spots outside the staff room.
Then there are the volleyballers who lunch with us everyday like Ming Huang, Thomas, Wilson and the poor Ryan Sim who now lunches in his class on the 4th level because he fractured his leg.
I don't really favour many p5s because I think they're an atrocious bunch in general but I guess Faris (5/3) and Jonah(5/5) are still quite cute.
P4s and P3s I haven't taken them that much but I absolutely lurve the P1s and 2s. I admit I totally favour Arkar Min Oo because beside the fact that he looks adorable, has a nice name and looks like a korean kid even though he's burmese, I think he's basically an attention seeking kid. So if you pay slightly more attention to him, he'll actually behave in your lesson.
Then there's the Spencer and Shawn Ho brothers whom are so different but yet equally irritating but adorable at times. But my fav P2s are Kay Sen (love his missing front teeth) and Bryan (can you find a more intelligent and obedient kid?)
Okay... I think teaching is turning me into a paedoephile. I can't help staring at babies and toddlers now when I go out. Haha.
It never fails to amaze me how lucky I am. Like... effortlessly lucky.
Truthfully, I wasn't so sure I was going to do well for A levels this time, I slacked like big time. I probably spent like more time with youtube than with my books so I was like expecting a really bad grade or something. Perhaps cause of that, for the first time in my life I was super nervous about going back to school and getting my results.
Thankfully Mr Tong came over and said the 'congratulations, you did extremely well.' to me. If not I probably would have just fainted from the excitement when I saw my name on the six distinctions like.
SIX DISTINCTIONS!!!!!!! (B in Chemistry but that was expected)
Can you believe it? Because I totally can't! LIke... there was my name along with a few other muggers who mugged for eons to get up there.
Life really isn't fair huh?
I know.
I think most of my good friends did fairly well. Wenhui got three As, but her GP wasn't very good so she's kinda in deep shit now. Aiwen and Qiqi got two As which should be sufficient to get them to most courses they want.
Other did mostly okay... though I know some I really disappointed because they did worse than expected. To those, pick yourself up and carry on. Life doesn't change cause you got one less A. Jia You!
So I guess I'm more or less going to LSE. Think I'll really really miss Singapore. Awwwww.....
After some help from Aiwen, I finally fufilled my wish to go back to JYPS to do relief teaching.
Truthfully... teaching really is alot harder than it seems, especially when faced with a rowdy class that can't wait to climb over your head just because you're new and inexperienced.
Still... I think its rather enjoyable, seeing these juniors work towards their futures, hanging out with other RTs and some of my ex- teachers, looking after adorable P1s and 2s... (soooo cute!>.<) Thus, I decided that even though I almost vomited blood from taking 5/5... I shall stay on in JYPS in term 2 and do my part for my alumnus.
Okay... i know... its like the last day of chinese new year already... but still... I'll like to share with all of you the fantastic Chinese New Year i had this year.
As usual, we took a super early flight in the wee hours of the morning back to Kuching. It was like three am!
We had our mini reunion breakfast of Kuching Laksa at King's Center and went on to WHB. Finally, after scouring through Kuching for a decent place to have lunch (It didn't turn out that decent at all. They screwed up our orders totally!) we went home to start preparing for the reunion dinner.
By the way, there are going to be TWO NEW MEGAMALLS IN KUCHING!!!!! YaY! I can finally shop when I go back!
We went to visit Spring, the slightly higher end mall, it was around the size of... Marina Square? Totally not bad for Kuching standards, it had like Guess, Charles & Keith, FOS and many more shoppable places!
This year, i decided to give my little input for the dinner-- a cold dish of abalone with lime, onion & chilli. Thank goodness no one died of food poisoning. We had a nice dinner, and for once I could join in the guys in the drinking even though i have to say the beer was horrible, then we waited till midnight and watched fireworks.
Fantastic!!!!
For those who have never experienced fireworks during Chinese New Year... this is how new year is supposed to be.
Its a little shaky though... i was like turning around to capture all the fireworks around...
This year we changed our routine a little by visiting some relatives we haven't been visiting in years. We visited two of my granduncles and also my dad's cousin Ah Sui uncle.
The cute little boy in the mini lion is my cousin one time removed. The tail is his brother Nicholas Sia junior. Look! So adorable!!!
Anyway, after our stay in Kuching, we came back to Singapore. However, this year, third aunt, shaw hung and shaw yang took the same flight as us back.
It was kinda fun cause we were like tourists touring Singapore. We went Kbox but it was kinda not so fun since Shaw Hung had no voice and my bro couldn't sing so me and shaw yang had to sing all the way.
We also went to shop in vivo and went to Sentosa to cycle and view the flowers.
The guys wanted to go to Sim Lim where they like swept loadsa gadgets, we went to visit park mall, watched Kungfu Dunk and Ah Long and ate loadsa good stuff.
The best of all... was that I got to eat my favourite. CRAB!!!!! It was super huge, like the pincer itself was the size of my palm.
But anyway... fun's over... and I guess its time to sit down seriously to get a job.
By the way, for those that haven't found out... I GOT ACCEPTED BY LONDON SCHOOL OF ECONOMICS!!!! That's like totally my dream school!
Kinda worried bout A results now. If my results flop and I can't get in cause of that... I'm totally gonna cry... ARGH! Should have studied harder.
Good A level grades
Acceptance by Uni
Fun Job! Guess Bag New Shoes
New Guess Wallet
Fashion Design marker set
More time and money to shop
Lose weight Be nicer to people updated @ 8/1/08
Aiwen was totally high on lemon soda and went about with her dramatic and hilarious stories about her new hall life. Just do hope that mine will be as exciting in time to come.
At around seven, my dad's friends started streaming in the house. Little Sheena immediately became super attached to Qiqi. Like a always say, Qiqi has a flair for attracting naughty kids.
Little Sheena looks absolutely adorable with her huge eyes and long lashes, but I'm afraid she's starting to be abit of the devil. Using her stupid National Day flag to hit adults on the head, running all about and rolling her eyes at me when i reprimand her, isn't that a bit too much for a six year old kid?
Wenhui posing with her chocolate stick. Everyone looks absolutely high on chocolate.
Jia Min prefers marshmallows and Sheena seems to be looking on enviously...
Posers! The minute I flash my camera all of them squeeze into line of shot.
Qiqi with Uncle Yeo's daughter. She's a little... weird as well. She she kinda looks like Rachel Lee. Haha.
The Gurl